“Make sure to give her this if she shows signs of anorexia.” The doctor continued, “Do you know what anorexia is?” Do I know what anorexia is?? The irony is palpable, and some might argue that I’m working out a lot of karma for all the pain I caused my family. But the truth is, my sweet kitty isn’t anorexic. She’s simply not eating because she’s very, very sick. Dealing with all of this has provided many lessons, not the least of which is to stay focused on the solution.
It’s much too easy for me – with all of my kitty-mommy guilt – to rehash the last few months leading up to the present. What if I’d taken her in earlier – when she first started getting finicky with her food? But all cats are finicky, right? We just thought the changes in her litter box were because of her dietary changes. We thought a “skitty kitty” racing around the house was the sign of a healthy, happy cat. Did the thyroid problem create the liver trouble? If we had caught the thyroid earlier, could we have prevented the liver disease? Or are they two separate issues and the liver problems were just masked by the hyperthyroidism? What caused this??
When I’m in fear, I tend to believe that if I can just figure out what caused something unpleasant to occur, I can solve the problem – cause and effect, right? Stop the cause and stop the problem. Furthermore, I think that if I can figure out what caused something bad to happen, I have control over it because I can prevent it from happening again. No cause, no effect.
And I’m not alone. How many of us rehash old drama trying to discover the source of our weight issues? We think that if we can just figure out and heal that certain specific issue that causes us to overeat – or not eat, or over exercise – or not exercise, whatever the case may be – if we can figure out the cause, we can stop our pain.
But we don’t free ourselves from pain by fixing a cause. We heal ourselves of pain by discovering – and staying focused on – a solution.
I can thank my sweet baby for reminding me of that. It doesn’t matter what caused her condition. It only matters that we stay focused on the solution – the center of which is our love for her. And that, perhaps, is her true gift – teaching me that I need to love myself as much as I love her. Stay in the moment. Stay focused on the solution. Stay in alignment. Stay in love. With all of that, she’s got at least another eight lives in her – and perhaps I do too.